Why I Built NHM Coaching
I’m John Vermaes, a Midlife Transition Coach and the person behind NHM Coaching.
I started focusing my work on midlife transitions because the advice people often get about changing direction tends to leave out the life they’re already living.
- “Follow your passion.”
- “Take the leap.”
- “Start over.”
Okay, but what about the bills, the people depending on you, the commitments you’ve made, and the parts of your life you don’t actually want to leave behind?
I know what it’s like to realize a direction you’ve chosen no longer fits, while still having responsibilities you can’t just yeet off a cliff. I’ve had to take a hard look at the direction of my own business and ask whether the way I was doing things still made sense for me.
It wasn’t a dramatic overnight reinvention. It was an honest assessment of what wasn’t working, what I still valued, and what I could realistically do next. That’s also the perspective I bring to NHM Coaching.
The Kind Of Work I’m Here For
Midlife can bring transitions you choose and transitions you don’t. A role changes, a relationship shifts, an old commitment gets harder to keep, or the routines you built years ago stop fitting the person you are now. Sometimes you can point to one clear event, but other times you just know something isn’t working the way it used to.
I don’t assume the answer is to throw everything away and start over from scratch. I also don’t assume the answer is to keep things exactly as they are. First, it helps to understand what has changed, what still matters, and where you actually have some room to decide.
From there, you can examine your options, the responsibilities and relationships involved, and the consequences you can reasonably anticipate. You might decide to stay the course, adjust one part of your life, ask for help, or make a more significant move. The point is to choose with your eyes open, not because somebody else told you there’s only one brave or sensible path.
Choices Matter, But So Do Constraints
I believe our lives are shaped by countless choices, large and small. But I don’t believe everyone gets the same options, or that every difficult circumstance is something a person freely chose. Money, health, family needs, social conditions, and sheer timing can narrow what’s possible. Pretending those limits don’t exist isn’t empowering, it’s just bad fucking advice.
What I care about is helping you see the meaningful choices that are available within your circumstances, weigh the trade-offs, and work out what makes sense for you. That’s what Practical Decision Systems & Strategies for Midlifers means to me: useful ways of thinking things through and moving forward in real life, not a promise that one formula will settle every difficult decision.
Where To Begin
If this sounds like the kind of perspective you need right now, the Midlife Considered newsletter is a good place to start. Each Tuesday, I send a note about one part of navigating midlife, along with a link to the full companion blog post (in case you want to explore that week’s idea more deeply).